What Reason Do I Have?
by anterrian
Summary: Kagome has a bad breakup with a long time friend and lover. Who will save her from herself? Who will give her a reason to live? AU rated M for angst
1. A Reason to Die

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.

A/N: Hello lovely people who read this fic. This story hits really close to home so I asks that at least for Chapter 1, no flames. Please read and review :)

A Reason to Die

Kagome and Rikkou had been friends since Kagome was 14 years old in the 9th grade.  
Rikkou was a year and 5 months older than her, and was the first guy to accept  
her for who she was. He never judged her or called her names, he was simply her  
friend, and a good one at that.

During the first three years of their friendship she fell in love with him and  
boy did she fall hard. He even developed a love for her. Despite the fact that  
he had a couple of girlfriends those first three years, he always came back to  
her. A few months into the third year of their friendship, they decided to  
become intimate. Both being virgins, they wanted to experience sex for the first  
time together.

At first they decided to be bedroom buddies, it was better that way, so he got  
another girlfriend. 'The Devil', as we liked to call her, was mean and harsh. In  
the end, she destroyed him because she was unfaithful. Rikkou was crushed and  
went to Kagome for comfort. About 4 months after the break up with the devil, he  
decided to give Kagome a chance.

Their first year together was pure bliss. But after their anniversary, his  
grandmother got sick. She was sick for a month, and then two days after her  
birthday, she died.

Then hell started. Rikkou became mean, he lost his will to live, he pushed her  
away, and he picked fights. A month later he broke up with Kagome. He said that  
she needed more experience, that she was still a virgin to the world. She  
pleaded with him; they talked and agreed to go back to being bedroom  
buddies.

So now, six years into their friendship, they were back where they started.  
Kagome looked at it like a second chance, boy was she wrong. Over the following  
four years, they were on a rollercoaster ride. A lot of up, a few down and a few  
loops, but they still loved one another. But one day, Kagome realized she was  
lonely, that she felt hollow, that what they had just wasn't enough anymore. One  
night after their weekly sessions, depression hit Kagome, hard.

"What's wrong?" Rikkou asked, annoyed.

"Well... I... this is starting to hurt," Kagome answerd quietly

"Well you're the one who wants to keep having sex with someone who doesn't want  
to be with you," he scorned "It's time to move on."

"I can't, I love you so much," she said holding back tears

"You have to, I love you too but I can't keep breaking your heart. I don't want  
to hurt you like this anymore. We've been beating a dead horse for 5 years and  
none of this should have happened," he said as Kagome sobbed.

"I can't live without you, you're my best friend. I can't turn my back on  
a ten year friendship!" She sobbed.

"I'm not your only best friend, you still have Geneyea, I'm just your  
closest friend for obvious reasons." He replied.  
"Please, don't do this to me, I'm not strong enough, we can work it out, you just have to try," she  
said.

"Maybe-- look can we talk about this later, it's almost midnight and I have to be up at 7 for work. I'll call you tomorrow," he said.

Rikkou got up and gave Kagome a chaste kiss and walked out.

Kagome called Geneyea, sobbing. Geneyea had been friends with Kagome for 14 years; they were like sisters, inseparable-- just like her and Rikkou.

"Geneyea, he's gone and isn't coming back!" she sobbed

"What happened, Sis?" Geneyea asked concerned.

"I told him that I couldn't do this anymore and he told me to move on," Kagome said as a new wave of tears hit her.

"It's ok, you can do better. He never deserved you" Geneyea said

"But I'm not strong enough, I just want to die." She said

"No, you can't die what would Georgia do?" Geneyea asked

"Oh! My tiny--" she started sobbing all over again

Georgia was Kagome's two year old niece and Kagome is the center of the toddler's little  
world. Georgia knows that Kagome is her aunt but she refuses to call her that.  
To Georgia, Kagome is 'mama', she even calls her own mother mama. Kagome would  
argue with her to call her auntie. Georgia's only response is always: "I know  
who you are, you're mama"

Finally Kagome decided to give up

"Oh! My tiny terror" Kagome sobbed

"Yes, she would be lost without you. Who is she going to drag all over the  
house to show new things to if you died? Think of the impact your death would  
have on her," Geneyea said.

Kagome just sobbed harder

"Look Kags, you'll be fine. It'll hurt for a while but I promise it gets  
easier. I'll call and check up on you tomorrow, Try to get some sleep" Geneyea  
said.

"Ok Gen, I'll talk to you tomorrow," Kagome said, hanging up the  
phone

That night for the first time, Kagome cried herself to sleep.  
She slept for over twelve hours that night. She woke up the next afternoon with  
red, swollen eyes, wanting to crawl under a rock and die. 

Then, the phone rang.

How are you today Kags?" Geneyea asked

"A little hungry, but I don't want to eat." Kagome replied

"You have to eat, you need the energy to play with Georgia!" Geneyea  
said

"I know, I'll talk to you later," Kagome said rushing her friend off the  
phone

"Ok, go get something to eat," she said

"Ok, bye!" Kagome hung up the phone

Kagome said she would eat, but she didn't. Not once that entire weekend.


	2. A Reason to live

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha**

**A Reason to Live**

Inuyasha was hired in the week before Kagome's heart was shattered. He thought she was the happiest, most beautiful woman to ever walk the earth. Her beauty was only surpassed by the kindness of her heart, and her eyes, oh her eyes. You know how they say that the eyes are the window to your soul? Well, in Kagome's case, someone who is suicidal could look into her eyes and find the joy their life is missing. She is the embodiment of all things pure and perfect in life.

Inuyasha never approached her; not even to introduce himself for fear of rejection. Even though, for him, it was love at first sight. But on this Monday morning, Kagome had the saddest eyes. Depression rolled off her in waves and it infected anyone foolish enough to get that close to her. It looked like she cried all night, hadn't eaten in days and hadn't slept all weekend-- like she was just fading away, she was so pale.

He wanted to go to her, he wanted to hold her, he wanted to kiss away all her pain and tears. But he didn't dare, he would just watch. This went on for about a month and a half. Kagome got thinner, paler, and much more depressed. Kagome would try to disappear in the office, not talking to anyone unless she had to, becoming engrossed in her work, fading into the background in the break room, no food just a book.

Until one day he just couldn't take it anymore, he decided he would talk to her. Upon entering the lunch room, he looked in her usual corner, but she wasn't there. It took him five minutes of searching to find her. When he did, she was tucked away in the opposite corner, virtually invisible.

"Hi Kagome! My name is Inuyasha," he said, walking over to her with a smile.

"Oh good afternoon, Inuyasha." Kagome said, trying to smile. "Are you new to the company?"

"Well, I got hired about two months ago," Inuyasha said

"Oh, I'm sorry, I hadn't noticed." Kagome said.

"I know its ok. I could tell you've been distracted. May I ask what's wrong?" He inquired.

"Well, I can't talk about that right now, I still can't handle it," she said, starting to cry.

"Oh, I'm sorry. No pressure. If you ever want to talk, I'll be here for you," he told her.

"Thanks!" She replied

With that she got up to leave the room. Her head began to swim and everything was going black. Realizing that she was fainting, Inuyasha runs to break her fall.

"Kagome? Wake up," Inuyasha said, shaking her.

"Ri-Rikkou?" she said closing her eyes.

"Someone call 911!!!" Inuyasha screamed.

The paramedics came and took her to the hospital, Inuyasha never left her bedside. He was sitting in a chair by the bed when he noticed her stir.

"Kagome?" He asked.

"Where am I?" She inquired.

"At the hospital," he told her.

"Oh." Came her only reply.

"Kagome, when was the last time you ate something?" he asked.

"That depends, what's today?" she inquired.

"October 6." He replied.

"What!! It was just the October 2!" She screamed.

"That was before you slept for 4 days. Now, when the last time you ate? The doctors were said that you were severely malnourished. Come to think of it when was the last time you slept?" he commanded.

"The 21st." She answered.

"Of August?" he says concerned.

"Of July," she said sadly.

"Why Kagome? Why haven't you eaten or slept in over a month and a half?

And who is Rikkou?" He asked.

"Rikkou? How do you know about him? Why do you care anyway?" She demanded.

"You said his name when you passed out. And I care because I fell in love when you when I first laid my eyes on you. Then your sadness became my depression," He said.

"Oh please don't lie to me. I can't take it, I'm not strong enough for this shit," she said.

"Please Kagome, eat. I meant every single word. You look like you lost your best friend. Please tell me about Rikkou." He pleaded.

Kagome sat up and begun to tell Inuyasha all about her bad break up with Rikkou.

"Wow, I'm sorry. When I said you looked like you lost your best friend, I was right. I'm so stupid," he said.

"It's ok Inuyasha, thanks for caring. I think I'm hungry now." She told him with a small smile.

With that, Kagome starting eating and within a few days she was out of the hospital and spending lots of time with Inuyasha. Before they knew it six months had passed and Inuyasha had a question to ask:

"Kags, I know we've only dated a few months but, will you marry me?" he asked hopefully.

"Yes Inu, you've made me so happy" Kagome said, hugging him tightly.

"Kagome?" A familiar voice says

"Rikkou? Hi!" Kagome says.

"Hi Kagome, you look well." Rikkou said.

"You don't have the right to talk to her anymore! Do you know what you did to her?" Inuyasha screamed.

"She's my best friend, who do you think you are?" Rikkou asked.

"No, you were her best friend; you are the person who made her want to die. And I am her fiancé, the man who loves and appreciates her. The man who made her want to live again. And I'm going to kick your ass!" Inuyasha snarled.

"What do you mean she wanted to die?" Rikkou asked.

"He means that I lost my will to live, that I was so broken I refused to eat for damn near two months," she screamed.

"Oh--" Rikkou said.

"Just leave, you're no longer welcome in my life. Inu, baby he's not even worth the ass kicking! Let's go," Kagome said.

Inuyasha complied and Rikkou turns and walked away, never to be seen again.

Six months later Kagome and Inuyasha got married. And they lived happily ever after.

**A/N: I know cheesy ending, I didn't know what else to put. Like I said before Chapter one is based on life so please no flames. Chapter 2 is open season and I will take all reviews and suggestion for improvement. Please remember chap 1 no flames, chap 2 whatever you can throw at me. Thanks for reading.**

**Anterrian**


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